Meeting new acquaintances is always a social mind field full of potential faux pases. Most people are at least mildly inhibited when it comes to first greetings. Do you hug? Shake hands? Do the casual upward head tilt of acknowledgment? But fear not, awkward turtle, for if you move to France you will discover that the French have managed to find away around that potentially uncomfortable first encounter, with what is affectionately referred to as bisous: a swift touching of checks accompanied by an artificial kissing sound.
It doesn't matter who they are or how well you know them, when you enter or exit a social gathering, it is customary to greet your arrival or announce your departure with this French custom. It removes a lot of the ambiguity, at least for women. (For men there's a whole other set of rules about handshake vs. kiss that i am not even going to attempt engage with).
This custom is not without pitfalls. Most of the time in Paris two quick pecks on the cheek will suffice, but once you leave the metropolitan area all bets are off. 3 in some region, 4 in others, really who can keep it straight??? Have you ever tried to kiss everyone around a communal village dinner table 4 times each?! Well I have, and it's tedious. By the time you're done, not only has your food arrived but everyone is already polishing off dessert.
On the upshot, you can say more with your bisous then you probably ever thought possible. Americans always think this greeting as a sign of stereotypical french sexuality, but that really isn't so. The majority of the time it's a truly banal and prudish practice that holds about as much sexual tension as a kiss from your grandmother. However, on the odd chance that you do encounter anyone worthy of a more then friendly greeting, you can simply extend the gesture discretely. Linger, pause, smile. Bon courage!
bise
"Save the Beatrice" t-shirts no longer necessary
Paul and André
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