Claws come out

(Bon Marché battle ground)

Twice a year otherwise civilized Parisians throw all caution to the wind and let their basic instincts take over. All the polite refinement of society is abandoned in hopes of securing material goods at a significantly reduced price. That's right kids, hold onto your hats,

the sales are here!

Unlike the rest of the western world where stores have sales whenever they want, France enforces a strict policy for "les soldes." Twice a year in January and July there is a month long sale at almost every store in the country.

Parisian women normally known for their decency suddenly digivolve into vicious animals. I actually saw a women my mother's age trip a teenage girl for a Lanvin sandal (mind you it was 50% off, don't act like you wouldn't have done the same!).

If you want to survive the sales here are a few helpful hints:

1) Don't shop with a friend who is the same size as you, you can't split those Acne jeans in half.
2) Pre-shop: know your sizes so you can grab and go.
3) Make friends with the sales people, sometimes they'll hold items for you that you can just pick up at the cash.
4) It's a marathon not a sprint, hydrate and don't forget to eat or you may faint in line at COS.
5) I know every girl was once told by their mother that playing nice is the best way to make friends. Just remember you're there to make friends with your new Chloe bag not the grabby person next to you.
6) Even if it's 50% off you probably don't need a hot pink nylon parka. Buyers remorse sucks, there are no refunds.
7) Certain stores open at 8, others as late as 10. Show up accordingly.

Play by these rules and you may just make it out alive with a fabulous new wardrobe in tow. Bon courage!